Hey people!

So I did it.. I really did it! I competed in my first bodybuilding competition! Not only that, but I placed SECOND in 'muscle model' category!! I placed 4th in Natural Bodybuilding which is more or less like regular BB where you go up on stage and they call out like 10 poses and you flex like crazy as the judges rank you and then score accordingly. I didn't like it.. at all.. I HATED it.. Muscle model was more my speed.. you go up on stage with a minimal amount of flexing (if at all) Even as I stood on stage as they handed out awards I kept thinking of how exhausted I was and realized that Supermodels ACTUALLY.. have it TOUGH!! They have to do this EVERY damn day and all day long!!! Well at least without the flexing.. But holy sh*t! No wonder they make millions!! DAMN.. Yet oddly.. as I went home.. I realized.. I WANTED to try again.. I WANTED to see how much better I could do.. I saw what I'd done and I wanted to see if I could do better!! Oh I also went up first and second round minus spray body tan. I didn't like the idea of putting something on my skin.. I saw the clay they put on the body.. and opted after asking around for some spray tan. It actually worked and I looked better the second round. What freaks me out is the guys who put the 'clay' on.. I noticed that the 'applier'.. wears GLOVES.. I asked why.. and someone else told me that stuff (the clay) is actually supposed to be harmful to the skin..!! Which is why the applier wears gloves.. Holy crap!! And you actually want to WEAR that stuff on stage?!?! Wow.. stuff people do for their pursuits..

So I was thinking some more about bears.. you remember I talked about how arrogant we men can be (woman are quietly sidestepping away from men sayin' 'Wasn't MY idea..') putting BEARSKIN rugs in the den. "We just NEED the SKIN of a dead animal around here.. LIVEN things up!!" "Keep his head?" "DEFINITELY.. we wanna know who this was!" And I kept thinking y'know bears love honey.. so what do we do? We take the animal who MOST loves honey.. and we SERVE honey.. inside a plastic HOLLOW BEAR.. out of a hole in its head! Screw you bears!!

I've always wondered.. Where do HOMELESS people have 95% of THEIR accidents..? (Think about that..)

So.. if an armless guy.. has a GUN.. is he ARMED?

Simese twins are pretty interesting because when you think about it.. they're the only two people in the world who can write a biography.. and autobiography at the same time.

I was thinking back in high school social studies and the teacher asked me, "Can you name the Prime Ministers?" I was like, "Well sure.. I mean they ALREADY have names but.. if you want me to re-name them..."

I was out with my pal Shawn and he said to me.. "I've gotta go to the ATM machine.." I corrected him (I have a nasty habit of that) "You know what ATM means? The "M" stands for machine.. so you're really just saying 'ATM machine machine'.." So he told me, "I've gotta go to the ATM.. 'achine'.."


**Notable Notes from Quoteable Folks**

"What do you hope to achieve if you win..? You gonna bring Jacob Wood back to life? NO.. you just insured that his wife goes to the cemetary in a better car.. And the heel that she snaps on to the way of the gravesite.. belongs to a $1200 shoe. You get your name in the paper.. but Jacob Wood.. and ALL the other gun violence victims.. REMAIN.. ROTTING.. IN THEIR CRYPTS.."

--Rankin Fitch-- (Gene Hackman)
*Runaway Jury*

"My reputation precedes me.. otherwise I'd be LATE for all my meetings.."

--Harry Crumb-- (John Candy)
*Who's Harry Crumb?*